Showing posts with label Miscarriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miscarriage. Show all posts

Friday, July 8, 2011

Much Anticipated & Long Awaited

I was diagnosed with having a fertility problem when I was 20 years old.  My doctor told me I was going to have a hard time getting pregnant, but with the help of fertility medications like, Clomid, I would probably be able to conceive.  6 years later I was married and I began to realize just how difficult it would really be for me to become pregnant.  It took doctors and the help of an (really nasty and mean) endocrinologist 6 months or so to discover the reasons behind my fertility problem; Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).  I started on Metformin, a medication known to help women with PCOS conceive.  I also took Clomid 6, 7 or 8 times and it NEVER worked.  In May 2006, just before I was about to take my last round of Clomid, I  I found out I was pregnant.  I miscarried at 6 weeks.  All in all, it took us 2 years to become pregnant with Shelby.  She was our miracle baby.

We thought we had my body figured out by the time we started trying for baby #2 in the fall of 2008.  After 1 full year of absolutely no success we started searching for natural remedies for PCOS.  We learned that a low-carb diet is very helpful with women in PCOS so I started low-carbing in November of 2009.  In January, I learned that PCOSers who run for exercise (as opposed to walking or elliptical training, for example) have more luck achieving pregnancy.  So, I began running - a lot.  In May 2010, I became pregnant, but I miscarried at 5 weeks.   After the miscarriage, we began looking into more natural remedies to help with my diet and exercise routine.  In the fall of 2010, we discovered, Insulite, a series of herbal supplements to be taken 4 times a day.  Insulite, in conjunction with a low-carb diet and exercise has been proven to help many women with PCOS conceive naturally.  In October, 2 months after I started taking Insulite I found out I was pregnant again.  I miscarried at 9 weeks just days before Thanksgiving.

I know I am not the only woman out there who struggles with infertility, but it sure felt like it. The holidays were miserable.  I felt like all the happiness was sucked out of me.  All the hope I had for having more children was pretty much gone.  I started trying to figure out how to become OK with only having 1 child. I was in really bad shape.  I cried a lot.  And I prayed a lot, hoping to find answers or some sort of direction.

In January 2011, still feeling totally defeated and at the end of my rope, both emotionally and mentally, I finally turned to the help of a reproductive endocrinologist (a fertility doctor).  My consultation appointment was scheduled for February 14, 2011.  During our initial visit, Dr. Greenberg talked to me and Travis for a long time about our situation.  She seemed pleased with all the knowledge we had about PCOS and all the steps I had taken on my own to conceive naturally.  Dr. Greenberg decided to put me on Femara for 3 cycles.  Femara is a  medication that stimulates ovulation.  It's similar to Clomid, but has been proven to be more effective in women who do not respond to Clomid, like me.  She said Femara seems to work really well for women with PCOS.  She told us if this didn't work we would  move on to hormone injections which would cost us about $3,500 a month.  We were really praying we didn't have to take that route.

When March 11th came around it was time for me to take a pregnancy test.  I was beyond nervous.  The 3 minutes I had to wait for the test to work was pure torture. 

The test was POSITIVE.  I didn't believe it so I took another pregnancy test.  It was POSITIVE.  Thinking something was up with my urine I waited until the evening to take another test.  It was POSITIVE.  The next day I took 5 more pregnancy tests; all POSITIVE. 

I started freaking out.  The pregnancy tests I was using were purchased online so I began thinking these pregnancy tests were defective.  I went to the store and bought 3 top of the line pregnancy tests.  I took one first thing in the morning; POSITIVE.  One in the afternoon; POSITIVE.  And since I still thought these tests were defective I made Travis test his urine for pregnancy; NEGATIVE.

OK.  I think I'm pregnant.  My follow-up with Dr. Greenberg was scheduled for the next day so she'd be able to confirm the pregnancy.  The blood test came back POSITIVE.  My doctor put me progesterone, a medication to help sustain early pregnancies and to help improve my chances for a viable pregnancy.  She told me I just needed to get past the 12-week mark, which seemed like an eternity that would never come.  I couldn't believe Femara had worked on the first cycle!

I was totally pregnant and totally freaking out.  I just knew that at any moment I was going to miscarry.  The 2-week wait for the 6-week ultrasound was nerve-wracking. I was a basket-case.  No matter what I did, I couldn't seem to relax. 

On the day of the 6-week ultrasound I was convinced we wouldn't be able to find a heartbeat.  I was scared to death.  But, there it was; a strong heartbeat was flashing away.




I was just as nervous at my 10-week ultrasound.  I was, again, convinced there would be no heartbeat and I'd have to prepare for another miscarriage.  But, there it was, a strong heartbeat pounding away. My doctor told me that my chance of a miscarriage at this point had dropped to just 10%.  Still, I was very nervous and I was still trying to prepare myself emotionally for another miscarriage, even though my doctors didn't seem to be worried. 



On July 7th I had another ultrasound. I was 21-weeks pregnant and so very nervous.  My doctor said everything looked good and the baby is healthy.  I am having a BABY!  I feel so BLESSED.

The baby was laying sideways so we had a hard time getting the traditional profile baby picture.  We were just really glad everything was OK and that there was a good, strong heartbeat.  I am due on November 17th.  (My last miscarriage occurred on November 16th).  This Thanksgiving we will have much to be thankful for.

 




Thursday, March 31, 2011

On My Mind...

Where have I been?  Some of you have been wondering.  I've had a rough few months so I wasn't much in the mood for putting on a happy face and blogging the happy things in my life. 

 I've been reading this talk a lot over the last several months.  These few parts I read over and over and over. 
"Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others".
 "... put our trust in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. 'God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.'  The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will step in. He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong".
"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude".
 I also spent a lot of time reading the story of Job. Job is my new hero.  Anyone who can lose everything, and still have faith is pretty cool.  I need to work on that.
Job is someone I wish I could have turned into about 4 months ago. Sadly, I like the learn some things the hard way, I guess. 

When you face adversity, you can be led to ask many questions. Some serve a useful purpose; others do not. To ask, Why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to suffer this, now? What have I done to cause this? will lead you into blind alleys. It really does no good to ask questions that reflect opposition to the will of God. Rather ask, What am I to do? What am I to learn from this experience? What am I to change? Whom am I to help? How can I remember my many blessings in times of trial? Willing sacrifice of deeply held personal desires in favor of the will of God is very hard to do. Yet, when you pray with real conviction, “Please let me know Thy will” and “May Thy will be done,” you are in the strongest position to receive the maximum help from your loving Father.

 Richard G. Scott, “Trust in the Lord,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 17